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Hello Donnie!

1/12/2022

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It’s been a while since I looked at your emails to me. I get so many of them. This one was particularly hilarious in that you call me, yet again despite all evidence to the contrary, one of your biggest supporters. Of course, this is an email generated and sent to everyone on your mailing list — a collection of rubes, fools, griftees, and the occasional guy like me who somehow got on your troll line. You do know what a troll line is, right? Just click on the word and find out — you’re welcome!

Anyway, the big news of your latest trolling is to let me believe that you want me to be your VERY FIRST DONOR of 2022. I’m sure you’ve already scammed lots of people who believe you are going to save them from all the ills of elitists in New York City living in posh townhouses who had everything given to them from the time of their birth. Of course, you are one of those very same people: Rich. Entitled. Lazy. A silver spooner from the get-go. But given your status as an elitist, the wording of your email was quite ridiculous:

“The very first donor of 2022 will go down in history as the Patriot who went ABOVE AND BEYOND to SAVE AMERICA from Joe Biden and the Radical Left, and I can’t think of anyone more deserving of this honor than YOU. There can only be (1) FIRST DONOR of 2022, so you need to hurry before it’s too late.”

“Go down in history.” “Above and beyond.” I suppose some poor sucker with next to no money donated to your cause. Yes, some dope will have his or her name emblazoned on an email buried in the detritus of internet communications. Why should I save America from the guy who beat you in a free and fair election, a guy who’s basically a moderate and has always been one? The Radical Left doesn’t control the Senate or the House. It controls the paranoid fantasies of Hannity, Carlson, and the collection of stooges who are making tons of money, stirring up fear and ratings for their own advancement. Pretending this clown collection are journalists is akin to pretending that Trump University is a university, you know, a place where people learn something worth knowing.

Well done; I wish you nothing but continued failure in your wish to turn our democracy into an oligarchy. So please continue your heart-attack-inducing diet of Filet o’ fish, fries, and fatty steaks. I am hoping for the best of all of us, yourself excluded. 11 January 2022 Your latest grift:

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    John Hofmeister

    When I'm not writing for clients, I write about things that interest me. Quite of bit of satire, a genre that has become increasingly difficult to work in since reality has become such a farce.

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