No Good Deed Goes Unpunished Dept

Yesterday, I learned I had a bird trapped in my downspout gutter. So I got out my extension ladder to get to the second-floor gutter to open the leaf guard to see if it would fly off. I had to extend the ladder to its full height, but the rope got stuck in the pulley. So I had to bring it down by hand and free it. As I tried to do so, the pulley gave way and the top of the ladder slammed into my wrist, leaving a nice gash. So my wife helped me clean it up and bandage it. I returned to the ladder but realized the bird had gone down the downspout to where it met the ground. Our underground pipe to the street has a y-cap off to the side that you can open to clear debris if it backs up. I took off the cap, and there it was, waiting for someone to open the fucking door. It peaked out and flew off.

The gash wouldn’t stop bleeding, so I went to urgent care. They took x-rays, but the film showed no fractures. I got some liquid bandage put on it and was sent on my way. I read the film report online, confirming lack of fracture, but it did show “Mild degenerative changes with some osteopenia,” confirming once again that I am really old.

I got carded today at Kroger. WTH! I said, “What, you think I’m looking for an Academy Award for best makeup just to buy beer?” They laughed, probably thinking, funny old guy, and me thinking, knuckleheads.